Sunday, 15 October 2017

Light a candle

Hi Blog friends

I was hoping to get this on my blog earlier hoping that you could have taken part, only if you wanted to though.

This week has been Baby Loss Awareness Week 9-15th October. On the 15th October people around the world light a candle at 7pm for all the babies lost during pregnancy and after giving birth. The lighting of the candles on the 15th is called the Wave of Light. I lit mine briefly early this morning 0.05am just to show you my most treasured picture of Evelyn & me having a lifetime hugs and kisses, and the little star candle that is lit everyday for our little star.

This day the 15th October is for all the Angel babies. If you don't visit my blog straight away, maybe sometime just light a candle and think of our beautiful Evelyn.

Thank you X




 Sending you all love & hugs to my amazing blog friends. XX

Tina XX

Friday, 8 September 2017

Onwards & Upwards

Hi my blog friends

This is just a quickie to let you know I have had my operation. It was booked for the 7th Sept but they rang me on the 17th Aug and said any chance you could come in on Monday 21 Aug. I jumped at the chance, well as much as you could to have an op, I was really scared but thought that's another couple of week to recuperate before our little man arrives and I want to be so fit for his arrival so that I can be there for Claire. Claire & Craig have been wonderful.

I thought I was going in for a partial hysterectomy, but when the anesthetist came to see me he asked just to confirm do you know what you are having done. I told him and he said that's not what is in your records so we need to get your surgeon here to see you. When she arrived she said that in the morning get together to talk over all the ops they had decided to do a full hysterectomy because when all this started I had abnormalities and because in a 20 span I could possibly go on to have cancer they made a decision that morning to take it all away. She asked if I was ok with this. I was a bit shocked and looked at Paul. He said he thought it was the best idea as going under every 6 months is not healthy. I agreed and the surgeon said someone will be along to walk you to surgery. She literally walked away and a minute or so later someone came to walk me down. I had absolutely no time to think about it although apparently I did fight to go to sleep, I did think sod the gas give me a big brandy & babycham and what seemed like minutes, I was being woken up. I should have gone to a surgical ward  for the remainder of my recovery but my op took longer than they thought and in the meantime emergencies came in and took my place in the ward so my bed was attached to a motorised cart and was driven to the other side of the hospital and placed in the daycare ward. I had 2 ob's done one when I got to the ward and one before I left the next day. I remember looking at the clock with the mask on my face and it was 11 O'clock am when I went under, I got back to the ward just gone 4pm and discharged and back home  just gone 3pm the next day less than 24hrsback in the ward after major surgery. on leaving the hospital I wasn't offered a wheelchair after being told for the next couple of days I wasn't to walk, only to the bathroom & back to bed, I then walked through two wards down 2 flights of stairs. By this time I was in tears. A lovely receptionist came over and asked if I was ok and when Paul told her that I had just had major surgery she was fuming, she phoned the ward and demanded that I had a wheelchair. They were so busy Paul left me and went back up on the ward for a chair. He wheeled me out to a bus shelter, took the chair back to the ward then went to get the car to take me home.I seemed to be doing ok but on the Sunday I felt really poorly, Bank holiday Monday I had to go back in. My stitches inside had become infected and I had a UTI too. I've finished my course of antibiotics now, so It has to be onwards & upwards now. I still have bad days and know when I have over done things so I am learning to take notice of my body, but everyday I'm getting there.

Anyway it's all over now and I am on the mend. I have thoroughly enjoyed seeing Claire & Craig while recuperating.

Claire is blooming but finding it hard to keep her anxieties under control, but has a super network of people to contact if she needs it.

Maureen Thank you so much for my beautiful card, can I have your permission to put it on my blog but most of all the photo of me on the box you sent the card in. X

Also Thank you for your emails asking if we are all ok, you really are very special ladies. X

Will talk soon

Love & Hugs

Tina XX

PS-:  Paul just said, you call that a quickie.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

I'm so sorry it's been so long.

Hello to everyone that still takes the time to pop in here. Lovely to see you again, and I'm so sorry it's been so long.

Claire has given me permission to tell my friends our fantastic news that Claire & Toby are expecting another baby. They were over for a family Bar B Q on Sunday and I asked if I could announce our happy news, and she said yes. Claire is just over 20 weeks and she looks beautiful.

Anxieties are our major hard to deal with times at the moment, and there have been quite a few and mad car rides have been done. luckily they have all turned out to be normal, but it's a just a manic journey that needs to be done.

Claire told us back on Easter Sunday after our afternoon tea at Rhinefield House. They had gone away on an all inclusive holiday to Morocco and a few weeks after their return Claire felt really poorly, after saying it couldn't be anything she had eaten she did the" P" test and low and behold we have another grandchild on the way. We are sooooo elated I just can't put it into words, but just a warning when booking a fully inclusive holiday this year, check the small print for all inclusive!! you may come back with an unexpected pressie. I tried booking an all inclusive last week, and was told to try old farts fantasy holidays. ( Sounds good to me )!!


I'm just Bias, but doesn't she look beautiful. OH! and by the way it's a little man.

We are so happy, and so worried and jump every time the phone rings. Our little man is due in November but they are going to induce her about 3 weeks earlier due to her anxieties, so maybe late October early November. Watch this space!!.

On a totally different note I still have not had my Hysterectomy. After the 8 wk deadline I rang only to find out that my surgeon had left and I had been put on another surgeons waiting list. I met her on the 4th July, she is lovely. I had my pre op assessment and the 17th July was mentioned but no paperwork has arrived so I guess it's not going ahead. I'm dreading the op but it would be nice after the op with all this wonderful sunshine to wear some white trousers instead of my winter blacks. Small price to pay as I have a wonderful bundle to look forward to later in the year.

Thank you so much if you are one of the very special people that return to my blog  All I can say is, I really do appreciate you looking in and for all your support. XX

Massive big happy hugs to you all

Love

Tina XX  

If you return, I thank you so much.




Saturday, 18 March 2017

My little make for my little Evelyn

Hi my friends.

This heart was meant to be given to Claire at Evelyn's party, but after my op I couldn't sit in my workroom too long to finish it. So I thought I would give it to her & Toby when they got home from their holiday in Morocco.

I was just going to make daffodils on the heart, but thought I would try and make forget-me-nots too. I found an old punch of little flowers that had gone in the throw me out box after buying new storage draws for my workroom. It made me look at my punches again, but still throwing loads.

This make was very therapeutic and I really enjoyed every minute of making it. I'm hoping Claire might keep this in Evelyn's nursery but if she chooses to take it to Evelyn's garden at the crematorium I will need to glaze every inch of it and try and make it rabbit and dear proof as they eat everything. They have eaten all the Christmas roses that I placed there, but they're not that keen on hyacinth's and daffodils, paper ones not sure off though.

On the 1st April  Claire & another mummy loss angel are doing a mad hatters tea party in their local community centre, It's also so called Forget-me-not, and it's all for Cancer & for a charity called Aching Arms. Aching Arms is a charity that donates teddy bears to Mummies & Daddies that have to walk out of hospital with empty arms and only a memory box. Claire said that was the hardest thing she ever had to do was to walk out of the hospital past all the wards with new mum's & dad's and crying babies and she just had a box of photo's and hand & foot moulds. Claire got sent an Aching Arms teddy when she got home and I was sent one too. So we make a point of donating every month and teddies are donated to another family that has just lost their precious baby and it's sent from Evelyn Katie Ward. We have also donated more bears to go into the new bereavement room from Evelyn when they finally ok the colour scheme so hopefully we can get started decorating soon, fingers crossed!!. Goodness knows what room they are using now, but the room Claire & Toby were in was very run down.

The teddies are no replacement, but you leave with something special in your arms from another family that understands what you are going through, or even for a sibling that was expecting to walk out with a brother or sister. Apparently younger siblings understand more about what happened when you tell them about the bear, and why they were given this very special bear.

I thought I would share with you a photo of our special bear.







Here Goes with my little make for Evelyn x















hope you like it!




I thought I would let you know how I got on with the results. I rang the doctors and the hospital on Monday 13th the doctor had no info about my procedure at all, but was willing to give me some results of a bowel test that I had never had, so who on earth had their results in my records. It's really scarey. The hospital told me that they are running 3 weeks late in typing op results, but was told I'm sure if there was something wrong you would have heard by now.

To my surprise on Thursday I had a call from my surgeon. Even though I had rung the doctors & the hospital asking for advice about still having problems and basically getting fobbed off over the last 6 months and was told everything will settle down soon. She was really taken aback, and said that I need to make an appointment to discuss my options with her soon. Had my recent op not been cancelled I could have told her what was still going on and she would have probably told me there and then what needed to happen 3 weeks ago. The surgeon that did my op was not aware of what was still on going as she hadn't read my previous notes, only what needed doing that day.

On Thursday my surgeon said she had just received the results from the surgeon who did my op.  She said I needed to talk to Paul over the weekend about the 3 options she had given me, but other than a hysterectomy the other 2 will leave me a bit vulnerable. I have to ring on Monday and make an appointment to see her and she said she will go through all 3 options step by step.

Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend, what ever you do have a good one.

Love & Hugs

Tina XX


Friday, 10 March 2017

Evelyn's Birthday

Hello friends

Firstly I have to say a really big Thank you to all of you for your love prayers and thoughts for our beautiful Granddaughters 1st birthday anniversary. Can you believe it's been a year since losing Evelyn. The 1st, 2nd & 3rd March were real thought provoking times for us all. There were tears of what should have been, and our expectations of  happy times to come with a much awaited grand child. She's here just not in the way we all longed & hoped for.

Claire & Toby did a little birthday birthday party on the 4th as they wanted to be on their own for her birthday on the 3rd. They did Evelyn proud, They decorated their house and had a beautiful cake made of the nut brown hare, with their words " I love you to the moon & back" which was a book Claire used to read to Evelyn when she was in her tummy & just after she was born in hospital, and they both read at Evelyn's goodbye ceremony. To this day I don't know how they found the strength to do that. I was, and still so proud and of awe of them.

 I'm worried about Claire for Mothers day as that was the very last day they had with Evelyn, until they saw her in the chapel of rest the day before we said goodbye to her on the 31st March. So still 2 more 1st Anniversaries to get through and "God Willing" we can start to piece together our lives without anymore the 1st anniversaries looming as this past year has been a nightmare.

I've put a couple of pictures to share with you as you have all been with me from the start of our journey. Bless You. XX. That's our Grandbear  as we call her in front of her beautiful birthday cake and she sat on the the little chair her uncle Craig bought her.






Another big Thank You is for your well wishes for my hospital op and checking back to see if I am OK. You are all so thoughtful.

I am thankful to say the op did go ahead on the Monday. It's nearly 2 weeks later and I still have not had any results yet. No news is is good news right.  I'm not a negative person but I am still having lady problems that according to the paperwork I came out with things would settle in a couple of days, but as yet has not. I really need to contact my surgeon again and have a word, I don't think I can go another 6 months like this I'm exhausted. Hey Ho!! I will bounce back, I will get this sorted, but I can't believe they can be so slack. I'm not that bloody old that they can just discard, I've got years to live God Willing!!

SUE SHARMAN. Hi!  Welcome to my blog and thank you for looking in. The Die you are looking for is -: Cheery Lyn Design. FRM149 Mexican Tile Pattern. I did go on line to see if it was still available. I paid £14.99 but seems to have gone up in price and is also out of stock. If you would like me to cut you some and send them to you I am more than happy to do that for you. My email address is dfc2210@hotmail.co.uk    If anyone else wants some cut just use the email address and I will send you some.

I thought while I'm here I would put up some older cards. Hopefully next week I will get around to making a new card and share Evelyn's make with you. I hope you like them again!


Here Goes!








I love making these guy cards they are so quick. I've told my brother in law, this is your card every year. It will just be a different patterned shirt. He's ok with that!


 Another  stamping technique with a pronounce frame. Sorry there is probably a technique for this, but, hey ho, I don't know what it's called. If you would like a a tutorial I'm happy to do one.





Finally, Roses. I love making roses!


See you all again soon. Thank you for your endless support. I don't think you all realise how much I appreciate each & everyone of you. XXXX

Love

Tina XX







Saturday, 25 February 2017

"Golden Oldie's"

Hi My Blog Friends.

I'll start this message with my appointment to have an op on Thursday 23rd. We arrived for the appointment at 12.15 about 1 o'clock I was taken to my ward all the usual ob's done, and I found out I was 2nd on the list for my surgeon. The morning op's were running into the afternoon session and we were told there will be a little delay as the op staff needed a break. The lady 1st on the list next to me went down for her op about 2.30pm. All the other ladies in my ward were going down for their op's, under different surgeons and had been taken to recovery, brought back up to the ward and in time were sat up eating toast and having a cup of tea. I never knew toast smelt so good until you know you can't have any. Even the men that were in the side ward had gone down and come back and some were actually going home. Each nurse that was on my ward had gone for their lunch came back and said " you still here ". They even had their afternoon break and couldn't believe I was still here. Anyway at 4.15pm my nurse came over and said would you like to get yourself ready. I sat there with my beautiful backless gown on, modestly covered with my dressing gown. At about 5pm I said to Paul it'll be getting dark soon, at this rate I won't get out of recovery until it's dark and won't get get home till early evening . At 5.15pm The head nurse came over and said I'm so sorry but we are going to have to cancel your op today as the lady next door had a complication and was still in theatre, She then asked can you come back on Monday 27th at 12.30pm and they have promised I will be 1st on the list. I just really hope that the lady that was in the bed next to me is OK.

So Monday is another anxious day, really not looking forward to it again, as I got myself into quite a panic on Thursday. So fingers crossed it will go ahead on Monday.


There won't be a new card next week . I don't think I'll feel up to it after my op, and the 2nd & 3rd March is the 1st anniversary of when our stunningly beautiful Granddaughter passed on the 2nd March and when she was born on the 3rd. We only have Mother's Day to get through and then we have done all the most painful of 1st anniversaries. I really hope life gets a little easier as I don't think I could do another year like this last one. It's been unbelievably painful & difficult.

I've said this on many occasions, how wonderful your support has been throughout this awful year for our family. I'm really not very good with words, and Thank You just doesn't seem to do be enough to say to you all. I wish I could come and meet you all and give you all a personal heartfelt hug. XX.
Bless you all!

I've been making something for Claire & Toby for Evelyn's room and I will share this with you at some time after next weekend if you would like to see it.

On a much lighter note, I went right back to when I first started making cards and things back in 2013/2014 and chose a few different makes for you to look over again, some I don't know if I ever put them on my blog. It was all so new then and I really didn't know what I was doing not being computer savvy back then, and not much better now!.

Here Goes!




Christmas Crackers I made and the Christmas cards I sent below sent in 2013.








Card I made for Claire's future mum in-law back in 2014.




One of the 1st double layered stamping cards I made in 2014.









 Finally, one of the first roses I made in 2014, even before MIL's card above.


I hope you enjoyed looking back over my very early makes.

I will be back with new cards soon.

Take care everyone, sending love & hugs and of course a big big Thank You too you all XX.

Tina XX

Saturday, 18 February 2017

Final card for Feb

Hi friends

I hope you don't think I have cheated on you, well I have though! Sorry. I have been really busy since Thursday and didn't have time to make a new cards for my sister so I went to my trusty stack of cards and did an Eeny Meeny Miny Mo and this card was in the box I chose. I know Chicky hadn't seen it before, but I know many of you have, so I do apologise, I'll try harder next time, promise!. Chicky loved it!

Well it's a beautiful Spring like day here in this part of Wiltshire, I hope the sun is shining for you too, it does make a difference to how you feel in yourself seeing that yellow orb in a pretty blue sky. These day's have been quite rare her lately, so I'm making the most of it.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. I probably won't do another new post until next Thursday is done & dusted.

Thank you all again for all the fantastic support you give me in so many ways. Thank you so much X

Lots & love & hugs

Tina XX


Here Goes!













I really hope you'll forgive me doing a second showing of this card.

Talk soon XX